Had an awesome night last night, and a good day at work today.
I hit the town as they say. Met my friends at Charing Cross at about quarter past 7, had a bite of Burger King and a couple of shots in the pub next to the station. We then quickly moved onto "HaHa" which is a cocktail bar, since on weeknights cocktails are £3 a pop til ten. Had a Lynchburg Lemonade first, then a Southern Gentleman. Finished off with a quick vodka and redbull and headed along to find the club (It was Cheapskates night at Moonlighting). We were already slightly tipsy from the whisky and the vodka and the like, and I believe Maria and Kelly had had their fair share of shots too.
Took loads of photos (to be uploaded later) and Maria and myself started Baywatch running across the road, almost resulting in a head on collision with a car. Then we got across the road and a crowd was forming and being an inquisitive pair of individuals we demanded to know what was going on. Free sandwiches for the homeless! I was tempted to try and get my grubby little mitts on one for myself but alas, we had more alcohol to find!
We were soon cornered by what I thought were Aussie tourists, asking where Zoo Bar is on our way to the club. I said "I'm sorrry, ignore Nathan. He is Dutch" being genius I am! Turns out the Aussies were from Amsterdam. We survived.
We moved on, Maria continuing to speak to strangers as is her way and getting pictures with them. This resulted in us all being taken to a bar and bought drinks. I was a bit suspicious of the fact that all the drinks seemed to be Italian until I looked around at the patrons and staff. Horror of Horrors! Our Quarrelsome Quintuplet had found our way into a bar full of Italians! We escaped, thankfully and found cheapskates!
Heaven! Blasted Heaven! 80p for Vodka and Lemonade! This is where I want to be married. The night went on, as nights do and despite my pleading, Maria would still not let me speak to her friend Sammy C because "I know what your like". I feel that is unfair, is it my fault I am so naturally charming that women fall over each other to take a ride on the D-Train (Disclaimer: Nickname invented by friends not myself)?
Stop ego stroking! I hear you shout! Get on with it!
Well, okay, if you insist. I went to go to the toilet as one does and a man approached me, holding a test tube. "Piss in this and give me your number and i'll get you a free drink" he growled, menacingly. Why would I need to do that? Drinks were so cheap anyways!
So, I pissed in the tube. You will all be happy to know that my urine is both healthy warm and of a wondrous clearness. So clear in fact they suspected me of having filled it with water. I had not. Having had my drink, I look for my erstwhile companions, when suddenly I hear a bellow of agony and see Maria charging for me! I step to the side and she runs into the boys toilet to throw up in a bucket. I know that look.
All was cleared up, we stood chatting when I hush came over the club. "Look it's Michael Barrymoore!" The crowds exclaim.
"Isn't that the tosser who drowned a kid in his pool?" I ask, obliviously.
"Yes, the one standing behind you" Nathan replies.
"Alright mate" I say, turning around and shaking Barrymoore's hand (In afterthought possible an unwise decision) Pictures were taken! Numbers were exchanged (By Barrymoore and Maria)! Invites to Barrymoore's house were given (To Nathan - What's wrong, Barrymoore? D-Train too man for you?
)Soon, however the night drew to close, as all adventures do. Mazzy-G, D-Train, N-Dizzle and K-Wad got the bus, and began to rest in preparation for work the next day. But what is this?! More Drama! K-Wad thinks N-Dizzle has said something bad, so they both get off the bus, tiffing, never to be seen again (Until the next day when it turns out it was a mishearing and all was good).
I am left with a drunken Maria, and not for the first time this night, I cackle with unbridled joy, and then getting strange looks decide to follow her example and sleep until the last stop where we got off. Being a gentleman, I hired a carriage for us to return our prospective homes and the night ended not with a bang but a whimper, as I remembered I had work in a few hours time.
Did best i've done in ages at work today, including selling a bunch of DVDs and CDs to Norma Major, Wife of Former Prime Minister John Major.
